Speculation and Timing
I have been pretty silent around her for the last few months. SO much has happened. Holy moly.
We built a house.
Packed up and moved.
Found out we were pregnant (!)
Got through the holidays.
Started getting settled in a new house.
Made huge business changes.
(I am tired just thinking about it all) Y-a-w-n
The good thing is, we are through it. Mostly. I am 18 weeks pregnant at this point and feeling wonderful! The crazy organizing lunatic "nesting Emily" has started to come out in full force. I don't remember that happening to me this early last time, but I think that it has to do with the baby being #2 and me freaking out about that little detail. I mean, two kids. TWO KIDS are going to be counting on me for survival. No biggie.
Emily Kay Studio has been winding down. I have four more sessions left from bookings made last year. Then--->bam! Nothing. I have already talked about buying a sewing machine, making digital prints, and blogging more. Ha! By nature, I work. I have friends, (cough) Amber (cough), who give me one month to not work before I go crazy. You all think you know me so well! I am sure I will create a business out of something just because that is how my brain operates, but only time will tell. My camera will remain on personal family mode only.
On another note. I have been asked if the reason I decided to quit photography for the time being was because I found out I was pregnant. The answer is simply, "haha, no." let me enlighten you.
I had been on the adoption train pretty heavy. I was doing a ton of research, reaching out to friends who have adopted/in the process of adopting, talked to adoption agencies, etc. I was praying hard for that to be the next step in our lives. We weren't having any trouble getting pregnant, I just felt this calling towards it. Without getting into the details, doors continually kept getting shut in our faces. It just wasn't the right time. We decided that we would wait a few more years, and possibly (probably) seek international adoption. With this decision, we prayed about opening our minds to the possibility of baby #2 being biological and focusing our attention on that. I will be honest, I think Scott was more on board than I was. I suffered from PPD with Carter's pregnancy, weight gain, etc etc etc. I wasn't sure that my brain or body was ready to do all of that over again.
I know I have talked about God knowing the desires of our hearts before we do, but he really does. I made the decision to step back from my business and just slow down and enjoy my family. I put way too much pressure on myself and my business and it takes away from what I bring to the table at home. I am/was tired of feeling pulled in a million directions and I just knew that was the final step. I have been feeling like God was calling me to slow down for a year, but when I finally did, amazing things happened.
I was so nervous to post it. It took me a while. Remember, I am 18 weeks pregnant. The NEXT WEEK, after posting my news to the public, I found out I was pregnant with baby #2. I can't make this up. I wanted to show you the timeline so you could really see God's hand in this. In my heart of hearts, I believe this was God and not coincidence. I decided to follow his plan that was placed on my heart, and the moment that I surrendered and asked for his direction, BAM, baby. I was nervous, for the reasons that I have said above, but I knew it was His plan, and it was perfect timing.
Later, I started to freak out, like usual, that I would be in my first trimester when we were packing up our house, moving to the new one, and unpacking that one. If you have experienced first trimester exhaustion and sickness with a toddler who could care less about how you feel, you can understand my panic. There was about a month that I was feeling pretty much like death, but the week we needed to start moving, GONE. I was back to normal. I was a little tired from time to time, but for the most part, better. WHAT? Yeah, perfect timing.
I just wanted to share part of my story, since most people had to idea what was behind my decision. I think people always speculated that there was something else going on. Little did I know, there was, and I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT! That sneaky God. ;)
Thank you for reading, and thank your for being loyal friends and clients. I love you all!